Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
God has been speaking this to me the last couple of days. And it feels good to be receiving a message from God. I pray that He continues to allow me to hear what He is speaking into my life. And that He gives me the grace to receive it. I've been going through one of the most difficult periods of my life. And I've been trying to hide it because one thing I don't want to appear to be is someone who pines after something that is irrevocably gone.
But this season of my life has been a blessing. And I think that it will continue to be a blessing because I am trying to use these trials to develop a longing and desire for growth in my relationship with the Lord. He isn't going to spurn my efforts.
I have been feeling the need to get to know some older, wiser men. On Sunday an older man that I admire for his kindness and gentleness invited me to join a group of men in a bible study that they have every other Wednesday. I took him up on it. It sounded great to me for a number of reasons. There were six of us total and we discussed the book of Romans chapter 15. During the discussion I was able to hear the testimony of one of the men. I certainly misjudged him. He spoke of his life and his endeavors to serve the Lord. He shared a story centered upon one thing, an unwavering faith and trust in God. After starting multiple well-meaning ministries aimed at helping those that need helping, he finally started one that works. He started a ministry offering free addiction rehabilitation. His story showcased God's provision and God's lack of provision toward each of these endeavors. Man supplies the effort, his highest level of work ethic, and God will either provide for the ministry or He won't. But you have to give it your best effort. If it doesn't succeed stop, pick yourself up, and do something different. It's that simple.
Today I experienced so much encouragement from so many places. From the music playing in the restaurant at lunch to a couple of honest and open conversations with coworkers and eventually to a conversation with the pastor of Morgantown Community Church, God has filled my day with peace and encouragement. God is reaching into my life and asking for a response from me. He's asking me to seek His kingdom above my own. He's asking me to trust His hand in my life even if I don't understand why certain things are happening. So far I am amazed.
So come, join me in following the Lord. Be a part of His Kingdom now, on earth. It is not some distant place that you must die to see. It's here now! It is life and freedom from bondage; it's freedom from darkness and despair; it's grace every day, something free that you could never have earned.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Pure Motives?
I have a lot of personal motives; I'm human. I've never been a particularly selfish person; at least I haven't thought so. But at this time in my life I may be at my most selfish. I actually think I'm writing this blog for selfish reasons (especially since no one is reading it). Anyways, it's just another one of the many things I'm working on.
This past weekend I headed up to Louisville to attend Sojourn Community Church. And my motives for that one were dual. I love to learn from that church and worship with the people there. And I had also not seen my friends in that church for a long time. In yesterday's note I mentioned that the first of the ten commandments is to have no other gods before God. And that got me thinking... In the new testament (Matthew 22:34-40 or Mark 12:28-34) Jesus is asked about the foremost commandment. The foremost commandment, he says, is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind". If I'm loving God in that way, with everything, I can't be putting anything before Him. But Jesus goes on to say, "The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments depend the whole law and the prophets."
After church I went to eat with my friends and as I was leaving a man asked me if I could trade him $3 for $3 in loose change. I made the trade. And I talked to this man. I talked to him because talking to homeless people is what I do. But I didn't want to. Nobody hung around to talk to him with me. I think we have all learned that you don't get anywhere when you talk to the homeless because they don't appear to listen. And we're results oriented/easily discouraged. I walked with him a little ways, found out about his life and his hurts. I asked about his reasons for being homeless; I asked him if he had substance addictions. I tried my hardest to be a good person; but my heart wasn't in it. I didn't love this man and I didn't show him love. The whole time I talked to him I was looking over my shoulder, wanting to rejoin my friends so I could say good night. I was even wanting them to see me speaking to him...wow. And I know I came off as phony. I represented God's love to this man without a care for him or his salvation. I prayed for his injuries, prayed for provision. And then I walked away having only offered him 15 minutes, $3 and a prayer.
I don't mean to be a downer; at least not totally. I'll have to write a blog on God's grace in the future. That will be a good one (or two, or three, or all of them). I forgive myself, but I want to learn from my mis-actions. I'm not trying to beat myself up, only to have an improved perspective. I'm not commanded to pretend to love others. I'm commanded to love others. Good deeds done for selfish reasons aren't good deeds. They give the wrong impression. Christ loves people. The Lord desires for this world to change. The Lord desires for all people to know Him and be fulfilled in Him. All creation groans in anticipation of a day when the world is free of sin, of pain, of sorrow.
This past weekend I headed up to Louisville to attend Sojourn Community Church. And my motives for that one were dual. I love to learn from that church and worship with the people there. And I had also not seen my friends in that church for a long time. In yesterday's note I mentioned that the first of the ten commandments is to have no other gods before God. And that got me thinking... In the new testament (Matthew 22:34-40 or Mark 12:28-34) Jesus is asked about the foremost commandment. The foremost commandment, he says, is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind". If I'm loving God in that way, with everything, I can't be putting anything before Him. But Jesus goes on to say, "The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments depend the whole law and the prophets."
After church I went to eat with my friends and as I was leaving a man asked me if I could trade him $3 for $3 in loose change. I made the trade. And I talked to this man. I talked to him because talking to homeless people is what I do. But I didn't want to. Nobody hung around to talk to him with me. I think we have all learned that you don't get anywhere when you talk to the homeless because they don't appear to listen. And we're results oriented/easily discouraged. I walked with him a little ways, found out about his life and his hurts. I asked about his reasons for being homeless; I asked him if he had substance addictions. I tried my hardest to be a good person; but my heart wasn't in it. I didn't love this man and I didn't show him love. The whole time I talked to him I was looking over my shoulder, wanting to rejoin my friends so I could say good night. I was even wanting them to see me speaking to him...wow. And I know I came off as phony. I represented God's love to this man without a care for him or his salvation. I prayed for his injuries, prayed for provision. And then I walked away having only offered him 15 minutes, $3 and a prayer.
I don't mean to be a downer; at least not totally. I'll have to write a blog on God's grace in the future. That will be a good one (or two, or three, or all of them). I forgive myself, but I want to learn from my mis-actions. I'm not trying to beat myself up, only to have an improved perspective. I'm not commanded to pretend to love others. I'm commanded to love others. Good deeds done for selfish reasons aren't good deeds. They give the wrong impression. Christ loves people. The Lord desires for this world to change. The Lord desires for all people to know Him and be fulfilled in Him. All creation groans in anticipation of a day when the world is free of sin, of pain, of sorrow.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Idols
I enjoy reading books, but I don't always finish them. A while back I had been reading 'Counterfeit Gods' by Timothy Keller and today I finished it. I'm glad I waited until today because it's hard to acknowledge idols. Hard because identifying idols means you must confront that these things are indeed idols and then take away their power by making them less important or obsolete. But for myself, I've enjoyed my idols and refused to make change. The first of the ten commandments given to God's people in the book of Exodus says, "You shall have no other Gods before Me." That is harder than it should be. Especially because I've tried other things - and they have never fulfilled. I've never physically bowed to a created idol, but I'm an idolater of the heart.
(This doesn't mean I have to enroll in a monastery and meditate in silence for the rest of my life. The Lord asks us all to do different things. I just need to remember 'why'.)
Tim Keller finishes 'Counterfeit Gods' by talking through the story of Jacob. Jacob's story can be found in Genesis 25-50. Jacob, Keller describes, is a man desperately seeking a blessing; approval. Jacob is the younger son by moments, grasping onto his brother's leg as he left the womb; a foresight into Jacob's future. Jacob continues the quest to take his worth and prominence from people around him. And they're not qualified to give him what he's seeking. Jacob takes his older brother's birthright, a blessing from their father. Jacob flees to his mother's family where he works tirelessly for 14 years to marry Rachel, his uncle's daughter, and does not find what he seeks in her.
Jacob is constantly struggling and wrestling for some sort of validation in the world. History is permanently affected by his pursuits. And, when he feels that his deeds are going to catch up with him. When his brother and a small army are bearing down on Jacob and his tribe - Jacob retreats to a quiet place by himself. And in that quiet place Jacob encounters God or, more accurately, God shows himself to Jacob. God met Jacob where Jacob is. Desiring to be that which He deserves to be, God placed himself as the object of Jacob's focus. And Jacob wrestled with God. That night Jacob sought His approval in God. When the Lord had overpowered and beaten Jacob, dislocating his hip with a touch of his finger, Jacob continued to hold on, demanding a blessing from his opponent. What other blessing do I want? What other blessing am I seeking?
God has reached out to me. My God has met me where I am, broken, alone, hip-dislocated. And He has offered me that which I most need, Himself. I pray that I can hold on. Bless me, Lord.
(This doesn't mean I have to enroll in a monastery and meditate in silence for the rest of my life. The Lord asks us all to do different things. I just need to remember 'why'.)
"Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."
Colossians 3:17
Sunday, August 21, 2011
A beginning
I've recently been inspired to blog. My past aversion to blogs stems from the fact that I tend to take pride in the things that I write. With that pride comes multiple fears; there is a fear that nobody will like what I write and there is a fear that I will write solely for the self-glory of having a well-read blog. That being said - I feel the need to be honest with the world. And, knowing that my gifts don't include the ability to stand on a soapbox and speak publicly for you all to hear, or even to have video blogs, this medium of text will be my outlet of honesty. I've always enjoyed writing. I hope you'll enjoy reading.
I'm a follower of Christ and as such I have been gifted with the motivation to seek out God's will in my life. I'm relatively new at that, although I've been a 'Christian' my whole life. I'm not ashamed of where I am; this isn't the blog of a pastor that has it all together, my words won't always be profound and my ideas won't always be original. God's will for me. My purpose. I've been seeking that answer off and on for six years now. Years ago I heard pastor Andy Stanley of North Point Community Church in Atlanta say that you have to decide who you want to be before you decide what you want to do. And that made sense to me. But the person that I decided to be was a person who was 'good'. I wanted to be a man that people respected, a man that people could count on to do the 'right' thing. I wrote out a list of all the qualities I wanted my future self to have. Things like being honest, trustworthy, dependable, etc. But I set myself up for failure. I set myself up to lose sight of why. Why do I want to be that person? I can look like that person without actually being that person, so why put forth the effort of trying? And I stopped trying.
Recently I've been listening to a series of sermons by Josh Scott, the pastor of Morgantown Community Church. He's been speaking about a person's 'calling'. What is God's purpose or plan for your life? The primary purpose of your life is to respond to God. As human beings we were created for God's glory, our lives are not complete without Him. So start a relationship with Him. Read His written word, pray to understand Him and know Him so that you may love Him, and give Him the glory and honor that He deserves. This is key. Without this relationship I could never become that person that I had resolved to be. I have wanted to look as if I have a relationship with God - without actually pursuing a relationship with God. Not giving glory to God is sin, and in sin you will follow your flesh. Before you decide what to do, seek God. Seek His kingdom and His righteousness.
In the past eleven months God blessed me with the heart of one of His daughters. And I was trying to be the man that I wanted to be, who wouldn't love an honorable man? She loved me. I loved her. And I enjoyed having that part of my plan all figured out. Things just seemed to keep falling into place for me. I graduated, got a job, and imagined my future. I now realize that I had idolized our relationship. I put so much pressure on both her and myself that neither of us could ever live up to my expectations. Suddenly it's all over and I'm dumbstruck, because I imagined that I deserved her. I imagined that I deserved a great many things that I have never earned.
Now I'm back to the beginning, I'm back to my primary calling. And I can only thank God that He has allowed me to get here. Now I can take the time to figure out my secondary calling, the thing that I do with my life to glorify my Lord. For all that He has done for me I will serve Him with my talents and my passions. What is it that I'm passionate about? Does the world need someone to fill that role? Perhaps the world needs another honest Christian blogger.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:33
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
2 Corinthians 3:17
1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:1-3
I'm a follower of Christ and as such I have been gifted with the motivation to seek out God's will in my life. I'm relatively new at that, although I've been a 'Christian' my whole life. I'm not ashamed of where I am; this isn't the blog of a pastor that has it all together, my words won't always be profound and my ideas won't always be original. God's will for me. My purpose. I've been seeking that answer off and on for six years now. Years ago I heard pastor Andy Stanley of North Point Community Church in Atlanta say that you have to decide who you want to be before you decide what you want to do. And that made sense to me. But the person that I decided to be was a person who was 'good'. I wanted to be a man that people respected, a man that people could count on to do the 'right' thing. I wrote out a list of all the qualities I wanted my future self to have. Things like being honest, trustworthy, dependable, etc. But I set myself up for failure. I set myself up to lose sight of why. Why do I want to be that person? I can look like that person without actually being that person, so why put forth the effort of trying? And I stopped trying.
Recently I've been listening to a series of sermons by Josh Scott, the pastor of Morgantown Community Church. He's been speaking about a person's 'calling'. What is God's purpose or plan for your life? The primary purpose of your life is to respond to God. As human beings we were created for God's glory, our lives are not complete without Him. So start a relationship with Him. Read His written word, pray to understand Him and know Him so that you may love Him, and give Him the glory and honor that He deserves. This is key. Without this relationship I could never become that person that I had resolved to be. I have wanted to look as if I have a relationship with God - without actually pursuing a relationship with God. Not giving glory to God is sin, and in sin you will follow your flesh. Before you decide what to do, seek God. Seek His kingdom and His righteousness.
In the past eleven months God blessed me with the heart of one of His daughters. And I was trying to be the man that I wanted to be, who wouldn't love an honorable man? She loved me. I loved her. And I enjoyed having that part of my plan all figured out. Things just seemed to keep falling into place for me. I graduated, got a job, and imagined my future. I now realize that I had idolized our relationship. I put so much pressure on both her and myself that neither of us could ever live up to my expectations. Suddenly it's all over and I'm dumbstruck, because I imagined that I deserved her. I imagined that I deserved a great many things that I have never earned.
Now I'm back to the beginning, I'm back to my primary calling. And I can only thank God that He has allowed me to get here. Now I can take the time to figure out my secondary calling, the thing that I do with my life to glorify my Lord. For all that He has done for me I will serve Him with my talents and my passions. What is it that I'm passionate about? Does the world need someone to fill that role? Perhaps the world needs another honest Christian blogger.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:33
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
2 Corinthians 3:17
1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:1-3
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