I wrote this poem years ago and until this time have kept it to myself. I will post more soon, I pray that they can be an encouragement. We pursue so many worthless things yet the Lord is willing to redeem us. Grace!
Why do I not fear You, Lord?
Like a son with no respect,
I have greedily accepted the life and provisions You have offered,
Yet I deny Your position in my life,
I deny Your authority.
I take Your love, Your grace, and Your mercy,
I drink deeply of the freedom You have paid dearly for,
I devour Your treasures, relishing them.
Then I spit them back at You as though both You, and they, are worthless to me.
I walk away from glory as if it is a meaningless bauble,
And my wicked heart embraces meaningless baubles as though they are glorious.
But inside I am still the son that gratefully accepted Your love, grace, and mercy.
And I am angry, because I know the weight of my sins.
My regrets could tear down mountains, or pull the earth inside out.
Within me there is despair, because I have hoped in my selfishness
And cannot hope to have hope again.
I have squandered my inheritance on prostitutes,
I stood on every high hill and under every green tree as a harlot,
And gave away that which is undeniably Yours; my praise, my adoration.
Time after time, again and again, I spat in Your face.
What have I? What did I ever have?
Even my arrogance and pride have been stripped bare.
Everything I am is from You. And You are my sustenance.
There is nothing unalienable. Apart from You, I have nothing of worth.
And though I should not hope to have hope again,
I remember Your kingdom where I sipped sweetly of Your grace.
I begin to seek that kingdom, and I trust, as I wait longingly,
That through Your power my soul will never again despair,
My iniquities are covered by the death of Jesus Christ,
And I will drink of Your love, Your grace, And Your mercy on every high hill and under every green tree.
And I will never thirst again!
