I've recently been inspired to blog. My past aversion to blogs stems from the fact that I tend to take pride in the things that I write. With that pride comes multiple fears; there is a fear that nobody will like what I write and there is a fear that I will write solely for the self-glory of having a well-read blog. That being said - I feel the need to be honest with the world. And, knowing that my gifts don't include the ability to stand on a soapbox and speak publicly for you all to hear, or even to have video blogs, this medium of text will be my outlet of honesty. I've always enjoyed writing. I hope you'll enjoy reading.
I'm a follower of Christ and as such I have been gifted with the motivation to seek out God's will in my life. I'm relatively new at that, although I've been a 'Christian' my whole life. I'm not ashamed of where I am; this isn't the blog of a pastor that has it all together, my words won't always be profound and my ideas won't always be original. God's will for me. My purpose. I've been seeking that answer off and on for six years now. Years ago I heard pastor Andy Stanley of North Point Community Church in Atlanta say that you have to decide who you want to be before you decide what you want to do. And that made sense to me. But the person that I decided to be was a person who was 'good'. I wanted to be a man that people respected, a man that people could count on to do the 'right' thing. I wrote out a list of all the qualities I wanted my future self to have. Things like being honest, trustworthy, dependable, etc. But I set myself up for failure. I set myself up to lose sight of why. Why do I want to be that person? I can look like that person without actually being that person, so why put forth the effort of trying? And I stopped trying.
Recently I've been listening to a series of sermons by Josh Scott, the pastor of Morgantown Community Church. He's been speaking about a person's 'calling'. What is God's purpose or plan for your life? The primary purpose of your life is to respond to God. As human beings we were created for God's glory, our lives are not complete without Him. So start a relationship with Him. Read His written word, pray to understand Him and know Him so that you may love Him, and give Him the glory and honor that He deserves. This is key. Without this relationship I could never become that person that I had resolved to be. I have wanted to look as if I have a relationship with God - without actually pursuing a relationship with God. Not giving glory to God is sin, and in sin you will follow your flesh. Before you decide what to do, seek God. Seek His kingdom and His righteousness.
In the past eleven months God blessed me with the heart of one of His daughters. And I was trying to be the man that I wanted to be, who wouldn't love an honorable man? She loved me. I loved her. And I enjoyed having that part of my plan all figured out. Things just seemed to keep falling into place for me. I graduated, got a job, and imagined my future. I now realize that I had idolized our relationship. I put so much pressure on both her and myself that neither of us could ever live up to my expectations. Suddenly it's all over and I'm dumbstruck, because I imagined that I deserved her. I imagined that I deserved a great many things that I have never earned.
Now I'm back to the beginning, I'm back to my primary calling. And I can only thank God that He has allowed me to get here. Now I can take the time to figure out my secondary calling, the thing that I do with my life to glorify my Lord. For all that He has done for me I will serve Him with my talents and my passions. What is it that I'm passionate about? Does the world need someone to fill that role? Perhaps the world needs another honest Christian blogger.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:33
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
2 Corinthians 3:17
1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:1-3
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